last post 53 weeks ago!

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:45:31 GMT

find me here if you want updates...I just use this for lurking.

www.adialoguewithsolitude.blogspot.com

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 14:58:34 GMT

So, I have been playing phone tag with my mom for about a week. I had to be very delibrate about when I call her because I need to set aside about 45 minutes of my life (that I will not be getting back) to just have a simple hey-how-are-you conversation. So w finally reach each other yesterday as I was walking from the El to Craig's. I am about to get off the phone with her (where I promise I will call her for longer and we can catch up for real) and she says, oh, i have some news for you....I got a new job. (Well, just so you know she JUST got a job about 2-3 weeks ago, which she deemed as an amazing place and that she was insanely happy etc etc). So i was like, well what happened at your other job? She gave the same response she ALWAYS does....oh, well THAT is a long story and I don't want to get into it right now, but I'll tell you the story later....so she's like, this new job is so great and I am doing this and that and blah blah blah its great----I just can't eve take her seriously about it, or anything. I wish she could just get a job where she didn't think he was better than everyone, know more than the manager, and not try to be best friends with everyone that worked there, only to get "back-stabbed" at some point and have to quit, usually after a short amount of time. (this is her track record) It's really fucking embarassing really. You know, what do you say when people want to know what your mom does for a living....i'm like...um...well, she's a nudist, she smokes alot of pot, she's an alcoholic and she can't keep a job. Its funny to me that she can't put 2 + 2 together and realize that MAYBE, just maybe part of the reason she can't keep a job is because of the fact that she has a drinking problem she won't admit to....oh wait, she did, but that was only for a second, where she got treatment from one psychiatrist, who knew she had a drinking problem and didn't know she was taking a cocktail of anti-depressants, and her OTHER psychiatrist (the one that prescribes her anti-depression medication) does not know she has a drinking problem....so yea, she is clinically depressed and addicted to TWO depressions causing substances. JESUS CHRIST. And whats worse is that she's going to completely have a nervous breakdown when my sister moves to Prague....oh boy.

*end vent about my mom*

Yesterday, I decided to take Posi for a walk, which wound up backfiring on me, when she didn't want to go home and I couldn't figure out what to do with her. I feel like I am really good with dogs but there was NO telling this pup what to do. I wasn't about to drag her, because I think she's been dragged home before, and once I even saw someone carrying her home....she gets out alot and takes off, I just think she needs to get out more, and maybe she wouldn't want to run away so much...so we had a stand off one street away from home for about 10 minutes, then finally after all the little kids from the street went away, we ran the rest of the way home and she was fine. So I think she's starting to trust me. Its brought back a funny memory of mine from when I was little. When I was about 7 or 8 we got a german shepherd puppy named rambo, I loved that dog more than anything and one day I was out walking him up in the hills near my house and suddenly this guy was walking his dog, a big yellow lab, and it came running up to us, it wasn't on the leash and it scared rambo so bad that he ran away full speed, and no matter how much I called him he didn't stop and I stop there and yelled and cried at the guy and his stupid dog....I went home and I cried the whole way home, and there was my dog on the step in front of the house....I had never been so happy in my life....he just ran straight home. Thats how I felt last night, like I had no control and that I wanted her to understand me, and trust me....

Today I was late (again) to work, and when I was getting off the subway at 15th street there was a homeless guy in the station sitting on a bench near the 16th street exit. He was obviously homeless or something and was tapping at hiw wrist, as though he were reprimanding everyone for being late. the funniest part was that he didn't have a watch on, but he knew we were all late!

ballad of sexual dependancy

last post 53 weeks ago!